Part 2: Moving to Los AngelesSo, there I was working in this strip club, having the time of my life, looking fabulous and earning good cash. Everything was going so well, I was having a riot, but it didn't last. My mother tracked me down and sent me to Los Angeles to live with relatives. My mother said to me "why do you have to be half and half - why can't you choose which gender you want to be?" but I told her I love being the way I am. I am me, and you know what? If I had my time again, I would still be exactly the way I am now. You have to start by loving yourself first. Without that, how can you expect anyone else to love you?
I enrolled myself in Hollywood high school and tried to continue my education. I was doing really well at school. I was even captain of the girls soccer team. Except there was one thing missing in my life. Love. All the other girls were dating, and I wanted a boyfriend too. Then one day, I met this guy. He was so cute! We were so happy and had so much fun together. I was so in love. I really felt that he was my destiny. We were meant to be together. It was fate.
Then, one night, when we were fooling around, he discovered my secret. He was really angry. I thought he would kill me. I was so frightened. His feelings towards me totally changed. Why? I couldn't understand. I was still the same person inside that I had always been, that he had said that he loved. Why couldn't he still love me for the person that I was, inside? I was heart broken. I had fought so hard to become what I wanted to be and now this terrible, cruel rejection from the boy I loved and thought that I would spend my life with.
He spread the news all around the school. I had no choice but to leave. Life had dealt me yet another cruel blow. I didn't know what to do, or where to go. I felt so lost and lonely. Happiness had been snatched away from me. I think that time was my darkest hour.
One night, as I was sleeping I had a dream. I heard a voice, as clear as life. She told me to be proud. Be strong. She said I was beautiful and I should be what I wanted to be. She said I should take no prisoners and the world was waiting for me. She told me the message of people like me is to tolerate difference - even if you don't understand it. She told me to trust the future - things will come to you. I woke up and I wept. I cried and cried. I remembered all the cruel things kids had said to me. I remembered my father and his anger. I remembered all the broken promises and dreams. I remembered how I had tried and tried to be accepted and just be myself. Then I remembered my mother and her smiling face and how she had always stood by me, no matter what. I decided right there and then that I wanted to make her proud of me. To this day, I can't tell you who that voice was, but I really believe she was my Guardian Angel.
The very next morning, I got a call from my uncle in New York. He was selling real estate out there and he was offering me a job! I couldn't believe it! It was amazing! One moment I was sitting there, so lost and lonely, then the next moment everything had changed around. Life was giving me a fresh start! A new beginning! I could go to a new city, and leave my past behind me, but this new me would be older and wiser than the girl I left behind in LA!
I would make that city mine! No compromises! And you know what? They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and it's true!
When I arrived there, boy! Did I party! The new me had finally found her place in the world! It was a new beginning!
Continue to Part 3: A New Life in New York
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